Sometimes I’m really angry about the characteristics humanity withholds. As animals, it is in our biological nature to seek companionship, connection, and love. We are genetically wired to find and obtain connection amongst those we encounter. We grow from these interactions. We learn. We love.
Sometimes these connections sink deep into the heart. Too deep sometimes. We hold on to the little encounters: a smile, a touch of the hand, a kiss on the cheek. We are alive because of connection. It is the center and source of our energy, our hope, our desire.
How can something as delicate as connection be apart of something so fragile? The one thing that binds our hearts together can also tear that bind a part. We are powerless. We mourn in tears. Reminisce and ponder the memories that once made us feel alive. We re-live, re-capture, we cry. We want the connection to last forever. But we can’t grasp the connection. We try to hold on but can’t. It’s only an invisible binding that holds us together. Thriving at the core.
I’m sitting on my bed motionless, powerless. Staring at the ceiling, pondering the memories that will forever remain in the chamber of the mind, hoping they will shed their eternal light into heart, clearing away tears and jaded eyes.
I’m angry that you can’t bring people back. Not for one last good bye and one more favorite meal. For a chance to say ‘thank you’ once more. To say I love you.
But that is what we do. We give life. We live. We form connections. Bind and sever ties. We grow. We fall. We learn. We are human, a delicate creature, biologically wired to live and to master our talents and strengths. To love and to be loved.
It’s who we are. We are the strongest of them all.
In memory of Papa. 5/03/1929 – 11/09/2015